


Acceptance

by A_Sheep_That_Writes



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Acceptance, Anger Management, Daddy Issues, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Healing, Identity Issues, Swearing, Therapy, and alcohol abuse, brief mentions of alcohol, family love, mentions of abandonment, other brothers are briefly mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27717523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Sheep_That_Writes/pseuds/A_Sheep_That_Writes
Summary: Accepting your wrath and recognizing when you're angry isn't an easy journey, but it's possible.
Relationships: Lucifer & Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 53





	1. Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Persona 4's concept of accepting a part of yourself that you used to reject. It may not be canon or realistic, but I thought it was an interesting concept.
> 
> This was created to celebrate the release of "Read My Heart"!

Lucifer wasn't the best at controlling his wrath, and even after creating an entire entity out of his wrath, he continues to struggle with his anger.

But lately, he's been getting help to deal with his emotions. His brothers suggested him to seek a therapist after countless nights of Mammon finding him nearly unconscious due to constant alcohol consumption.

Seeing his brothers' panicked faces when he wakes up, not remembering what exactly happened. But he knew that he didn't want to see his brothers like that, worried for him. He knew he couldn't continue like this forever, drinking out of self-hatred.

It wasn't easy for him to take his first steps away from alcohol and self-hatred.

He had spent so many centuries hating himself for what happened to them during the Celestial War, after all. And for a while, he felt like he deserved the pain he felt.

But he also hated himself for not being the father his son wanted. 

Satan, the embodiment of his wrath and a constant reminder of his failures. For so long, he rejected Satan and didn't allow himself to be the father that Satan wanted. The father Satan needed. All he did, really, was raise Satan to be nearly like him, despite Satan wanting to form his own identity. 

He desperately wanted to be more than just Lucifer's wrath, and yet he's so much like his father.

No wonder he hated him. Lucifer prevented him from growing, from being free, from being himself. Lucifer knew all too well the feeling of being bound to someone else, to his Father and Diavolo. Feeling that he is nothing without the other. Lucifer decided that he didn't want that.

Lucifer certainly wasn't the best father to Satan, but he hoped that he could change that, even after the amount of time he spent rejecting him.

He knew that deep down, all that Satan wanted was the father figure he lacked.

It's been a long time ever since Lucifer started seeing a therapist, and he has been dealing with his anger way better than in the past. He has even abandoned alcohol and worked towards fixing his relationships with his family, especially with Satan and Belphegor. The Anti-Lucifer League was no more, there were fewer punishments, Lucifer started becoming more honest with his emotions, and he had his entire family supporting him.

All was going well in the House of Lamentation.

Satan and Lucifer finally started to form a genuine father-son relationship. Although it was awkward at first, Satan was starting to talk to him. About his anger issues, to talk about their days, the cats he found on the Devildom Cat Blog, the books he has been reading. Satan eventually became comfortable enough to sit right next to his father as he read to him at night. And Lucifer would always look at his son with a soft smile.

It certainly wasn't an easy journey for them to get there, they'd still have their fights, but he was glad that he managed to become the father Satan wanted now that he has finally relieved most of his burdens off his chest.

He would constantly remember the many fights he'd have with Satan, both in their demon forms, screaming at each other. The words **"I HATE YOU"** would always ring in his head. Then, as he returned to reality, he'd see his son resting his head on his shoulder, snoring softly. Lucifer couldn't help but smile at the sight.

The two of them would stay like that for hours, with Lucifer's arms protectively wrapped around Satan, the latter resting his head on his father's chest and Lucifer's chin on top of Satan's head until someone woke them up.

Satan should be happy with the newfound attention he's been receiving from his father. But a while after Lucifer started therapy, Satan has felt somewhat light in his chest. It started small, and Satan figured that the light feeling in his chest was relief that Lucifer was finally dealing with his issues instead of taking it out on himself or any of them. As it grew, he figured that it was because Lucifer was finally stepping up to be the father figured he needed in his childhood. 

But even after that, the light feeling continued to grow, to the point where Satan grew worried. He felt like he was becoming one with the air.

"Is this normal?" he wondered. He figured that he shouldn't worry about it because it's the first time he felt this indescribable emotion. Still, he couldn't ignore it as the feeling continued to grow.

During breakfast, everything was going smoothly. Everyone talked to each other and ate breakfast, discussed yesterday's events and today's plans.

All of a sudden, Lucifer stood up and walked over to Satan. "May I say something to you real quick?" Satan nodded. Lucifer reached out and grabbed both of Satan's hands. Before he could ask, Lucifer spoke, "I know this is rare, coming from me....but...I'm sorry."

Lucifer let out a big breath before continuing.

"I was never the best at controlling my emotions, especially my wrath. When you were created, I wanted to reject you and deny that you were a part of me. That I had felt so much anger in my life to the point where I created something....demonic. I let fear get to me, and that fear prevented me from being the father you wanted and needed."

"You weren't really easy to handle, I'll admit, but despite all of that wrath, you were still a child...and you needed me. You'd call me dad and try to attach yourself to me, but I kept pushing you away. I was afraid that of carrying that responsibility of being a father, especially after what had happened. I didn't want to be like my Father. I didn't want to be a bad father to you. And yet, I pushed you away whenever you hugged me and gave you a look whenever you called me 'dad.' I didn't think it would mean anything to you or that you'd be affected by my rejection, but I knew that I was wrong."

Lucifer gathered him in his arms, not caring that Satan became stiff for a moment. "You never did anything wrong, and I never hated you, Satan. Not ever. I'm sorry for preventing you from becoming your own person. I did have the biggest amount of influence on you. So many people have told us that we're so alike and that made you irritated, right? You couldn't stand the thought of not being your own person, which is why you wanted to develop your own identity, despite being constantly reminded that you were once a part of me. You hated being compared to me. You felt like nothing you'd do would be any different from me. You felt...bound to me. That you owed me for creating you that you wouldn't exist if it weren't for me."

"But, you are indeed your own person, and you are more than just my wrath. And I'm sorry that I didn't acknowledge that. I have grown to accept my anger. I used to think of it as something ugly and untameable, and I was afraid that that's what you'd be, yet you have grown so much, despite being the embodiment of my wrath. I realized now that it's okay to feel that way and that I shouldn't have spent so much time hating myself for feeling that way and hiding my true emotions from all of you. We all feel it, and I shouldn't have pushed it away. I shouldn't have pushed you away. If only I could express how proud of you I am and how lucky I am to have you here and to be your father."

Lucifer moved in to hug Satan tightly. Satan ignored the light feeling in his chest that's now growing even stronger.

" **I love you, my son.** "

Satan's eyes widened and were filling up with more tears than before. His father finally acknowledged him as his son. He finally got the love and attention he longed for from his father. He was finally feeling loved and appreciated.

It became so overwhelming that he didn't realize that he was glowing.

" _What's happening?!_ " _"I'm not seeing things, right?"_ _"He's glowing?!"_

The shouting voices of his brothers, no, his uncles, meant nothing to him as he stared at his body.

He should be panicking. And yet...he felt so light. So happy. For some reason, he couldn't feel any anger at all. 

He didn't seem bothered as pieces of him started to chip away and disappear into thin air. He was disappearing. He had always feared that this would happen, that he would go back to being a part of Lucifer once more. However, he wasn't mad.

Lucifer no longer carries the burden of his past. Lucifer no longer took his anger out on anyone nor did he keep it to himself. Satan made the most out of his life and built an identity for himself, discovering more about himself and pursued his passions in the time that has passed.

He felt accepted. He was finally accepted by his father and his uncles for who he is. He was finally happy, he finally felt love.

How could he be mad?

"Satan?!"

Satan looked at Lucifer, whose face was filled with shock and worry. Satan smiled, a small genuine smile, and he hugged his father tightly. 

**"I love you too, dad."**

Lucifer hugged him tightly once more, believing that doing so would prevent Satan from disappearing, but felt the warmth from his son disappear as the rest of his body glowed brighter and turned into little particles.

The last thing Lucifer heard was Satan's soft laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll most likely post an alternative version of this.


	2. A Long Needed Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an alternative version of chapter 1!

Lucifer wasn't the best at controlling his wrath, and even after creating an entire entity out of his wrath, he continues to struggle with his anger.

But lately, he's been getting help to deal with his emotions. His brothers suggested that he seek a therapist after countless nights of Mammon finding him nearly unconscious due to constant alcohol consumption.

Seeing his brothers' panicked faces when he wakes up, not remembering what exactly happened. But he knew that he didn't want to see his brothers like that, worried for him. He knew he couldn't continue like this forever, drinking out of self-hatred.

It wasn't easy for him to take his first steps away from alcohol and self-hatred.

He had spent so many centuries hating himself for what happened to them during the Celestial War, after all. And for a while, he felt like he deserved the pain he felt.

But he also hated himself for not being the father his son wanted. 

Satan, the embodiment of his wrath and a constant reminder of his failures. For so long, he rejected Satan and didn't allow himself to be the father that Satan wanted. The father Satan needed. All he did, really, was raise Satan to be nearly like him, despite Satan wanting to form his own identity. 

He desperately wanted to be more than just Lucifer's wrath, and yet he's so much like his father.

No wonder he hated him. Lucifer prevented him from growing, from being free, from being himself. Lucifer knew all too well the feeling of being bound to someone else, to his Father and Diavolo. Feeling that he is nothing without the other. Lucifer decided that he didn't want that.

Lucifer certainly wasn't the best father to Satan, but he hoped that he could change that, even after the amount of time he spent rejecting him.

He knew that deep down, all that Satan wanted was the father figure he lacked.

* * *

One night, he decided to talk to Satan.

With surprisingly shaky hands, he knocked on the door and waited as he heard the sound of footsteps growing louder and louder. 

The words Lucifer wanted to say suddenly became hard to say once the door opened. 

“What?”

The sharp tone in Satan’s voice immediately made Lucifer want to turn around and forego the purpose of going to Satan’s room in the first place.

” _He’s never going to forgive me,_ ”

“ _He’s going to hate me regardless,”_

_“He’ll never believe me.”_

Lucifer feared that this night, a night that’s supposed to be the start of his redemption might turn into another night of arguing.

How long have they argued? How much time did they waste over hating each other? Hating themselves? Instead of being there and being a family...

Instead of being a reliable father figure, he...

He...

”WELL?”

Lucifer immediately looked at Satan. He was already angered, or rather annoyed, by his silence.

” _Angry at every aspect of my being...”_

Lucifer had to take a deep breath before continuing.

” _You can do this....you have to do this. It’s the only way the both of us can move on. It’s the only way we can get any closure.”_

”Satan,” Lucifer spoke with as much confidence as he could, though he wasn’t aware that he came off as harsh, “May I speak to you?”

Satan scoffed and crossed his arms, no longer mirroring Lucifer’s standard pose.

”What is it? Here to throw a pissy fit at me over something small like a cat that I found and decided to keep?”

”No, we need to talk.”

”About?”

”...Just let me in, please. It’s urgent.”

Satan looked at Lucifer’s eyes. They didn’t hold any malice or any sense of authority. Instead, they looked desperate.   
  
Desperate to talk.

Satan looked for a moment, looking for any signs of deceit. He eventually gave in, uncrossed his arms while sighing heavily, and stepped aside.

“Fine. You can come in.”

Lucifer nodded and stepped inside. As soon as the two of them were in the room, he closed the door.

”Make it quick. It’s late.”

“I know, I just...”

Lucifer doesn’t know how to start this. How is he supposed to talk about this? To be honest, he never thought this through.

Lucifer took a deep breath before continuing, saying something that definitely goes against his pride:

“I’m sorry.”

Satan wanted to laugh. Lucifer, the avatar of pride, saying sorry? How hilarious. It must be a joke.

”Sorry? For what?”

A long pause. Lucifer REALLY didn’t think this through.

”For...a lot of things.”

Satan just stares, prompting him to continue.

”I wasn’t really the best...influence...to all of you, and I know that some of my actions may have harmed you...and...”

FUCK. He REALLY didn’t think ANY of this through. He can’t even get the words out.

”I’m sorry. I’m not good at saying this. But, I’m ready to make things right. Whatever you need. I just want to make things up to you...can you ever forgive me? Can we start over?”

Maybe he could avoid having to remember what he failed to do for Satan.

Satan scoffed. “That was the worst apology I’ve ever heard. I’ve heard better apologies from Mammon. You never acknowledged what exactly you had done. ‘May have?’ You DID hurt us in many ways possible. Maybe not physically, for me, but you did hurt me. Did you really expect forgiveness after that half-assed apology? After what you have done to me?”

”I just...perhaps you...WE...could use some closure. I want to make things up to you if you’d just let me-“

”There you go again, saying things without considering any of my feelings. Have you ever tried seeing from my perspective? It shouldn’t be THAT hard, considering that you’ve always reminded me that I was once a part of you. It should be EASY to understand.”

”I...well...”

”Why I hated you so much, why I hated myself so much. Why I surround myself with books and the knowledge they contain, why it’s a struggle to contain my emotions, what it’s like to be angry every single day? Come on. You know what that’s like, considering that you felt so much anger that you ended up creating a living embodiment of ALL of your anger.”

“I wanted your respect, you know? For you to acknowledge that I exist? I thought by being knowledgeable, by being the son you wanted, or at least the ‘ideal brother,’ you would respect me. But every time, you never acknowledged me and only paid attention to me when I was at my worst. Then, all you did was scold me and refused to listen to me. I did everything I could and did the best I could, so that people would want me around...so that YOU would want me around.”

Satan looked away, tears starting to form.

”I always thought that something was wrong with me, that no one could love me because you never cared for me.”

Satan looked back at Lucifer.

”You were never really there to take care of us after the fall. After some time, you left us on our own to do our own things.”

”I’m sorry, I was just so busy doing work for Diavolo. It was my job to provide for you all and-“

“Your job? Your job?! Your job was to be my father! I needed you, but you weren’t there!”

“I was! I was at home every day!”

”You weren’t there!”

Satan took a deep breath before continuing, glaring at Lucifer.

”I was. I never left you!”

“Tell me then... who the one that comforted me from my nightmares was? When I tossed and turned and cried, desperate for someone to hold me and soothe the pain away? It was Belphie.”

”Who was the one that fed me and made sure I was full, so I can grow so that I can stay healthy? It was Beel.”

”Who was the one that gave me hugs and kisses, cuddling me every chance he got, and made sure I felt loved and appreciated? It was Asmo!”

”Who was the one that made time to play with me and tell me stories during the daytime and nighttime? Introducing my mind to a whole world of imagination and adventure? It was Levi! Levi!”

Lucifer knew where this was going.

“I...”

”And who?! Who was the one that was there for me at my worst?! The one who took every hit, threat, and insult I threw at him?! Taught me how to manage my anger and control it while assuring me that my feelings are valid?! He told me that he’s there for me, that everyone is there for me and that they love me! That everything will be alright!”

Lucifer was desperately trying to get out of this. He knew the answer. He didn’t want to be reminded of what he failed to do.

”Satan, I-“

”IT WAS MAMMON! MAMMON OF ALL PEOPLE!”

Satan was taking heavy breaths at this point. His demon form slowly started to show.

“And what did you do?! All you did was make me hate myself! Made me hate the sin I possessed, the sin YOU couldn’t control! You criticized me every time I wasn’t ‘ _perfect_ ’ and disregarded my feelings!”

“You ignored me when I needed you! You made me feel insecure and that I’ll never be my own person despite the circumstances of my birth! Which you always remind me of constantly!"

“You raised me, yes, raised me to be like YOU!”

”Satan-“

”But THEY were there for me! They took care of me! WHERE WERE YOU?!”

”You left me at the care of your brothers! You ignored me all your life when all I really wanted was a father!”

Satan broke down, falling to his knees. Yelling and sobbing at the same time, his fist pounding against the floor, his other arm supporting him.

Lucifer then realized what Satan meant. He was there. He was at home.

But he was never actually there.

Lucifer slowly approached Satan. His heart was breaking over the sight of his son shaking and crying.

How many times has he seen this? In his brothers? In Satan?

How many times has he made him cry? How many times has he scolded him for getting angry or getting a low score on a test? Pushed him away when he went in for a hug or called him “dad.”

“All I wanted was you, Lucifer! But you couldn’t even pretend to be my father! Fathers are supposed to be kind...they're supposed to protect...they're supposed to raise you...”

Satan looked at Lucifer with tears eyes.

”Do you really hate me THAT much?”

Lucifer’s eyes widened. “Satan, no...”

Satan gripped the feather boa on him tightly in his hands.

“These feathers? Are they just a reminder of the wings you lost?”

Satan points to his rib-shaped ribbons.

”These ribbons? A reminder that Lilith died? Breathing heavily, trying to hold on to every breath she could take after falling?”

Satan points to the circles on his pants.

”These holes? A reminder of the injuries you and your brothers received during the war?”

”Was I just a constant reminder of your failures? Failure to win the war? Failure to save Lilith? Failure to protect your brothers? Failure to control your anger? Is that all I’ll ever be in your eyes? A failure?”

Satan stared at the floor. Lucifer knelt in front of Satan, took his face in his hands, and lifted Satan's head.

"You reminded me of so many things, Satan, reminded me of our loss. You were what we gained, along with our demon forms and titles, after we lost so much. But you are not a failure, I never thought you were."

"I was never the best at controlling my emotions, especially my wrath. When you were created, I wanted to reject you and deny that you were a part of me. That I had felt so much anger in my life to the point where I created something....demonic. I was horrified that my anger has become so bottled up and ended becoming its own being, but I didn't want to believe it. I let fear get to me, and that fear prevented me from being the father you wanted and needed."

"You weren't really easy to handle, I'll admit, but despite all of that wrath, you were still a child...and you needed me. You'd call me dad and try to attach yourself to me, but I kept pushing you away. I was afraid that of carrying that responsibility of being a father, especially after what had happened. I knew I wouldn't be capable of being one because of the state that we were in. I didn't think that you'd be affected by my rejection, but I was wrong. You were deeply affected. You felt abandoned and unloved because I failed to love you as your father."

"You never did anything wrong, and I never hated you, Satan. Not ever. I'm sorry for preventing you from becoming your own person. I did have the biggest amount of influence on you. Many people have told us that we're so alike, which made you irritated, right? You couldn't stand the thought of not being your own person, which is why you wanted to develop your own identity, despite being constantly reminded that you were once a part of me. You hated being compared to me. You felt like nothing you'd do would be any different from me. You felt bound to me. That you owed me for creating you that you wouldn't exist if it weren't for me."

"That was my fault. While I had a part in raising you with my brothers. I didn't take care of you as my brothers did. I only raised you to be like me."

"But, you are indeed your own person, and you are more than just my wrath. And I'm sorry that I didn't acknowledge that. I used to think of my anger as something ugly and untameable, and I was afraid that that's what you'd be, yet you have grown so much, despite being the embodiment of my wrath. I realized now that it's okay to feel that way and that I shouldn't have spent so much time hating myself for feeling that way and hiding my true emotions from all of you. We all feel it, and I shouldn't have pushed it away. I shouldn't have pushed you away."

"I didn't want to be a bad father to you. But I was afraid, and I was still recovering from our loss. I didn't want any of that to affect you. I didn't want you to see me mourning or drinking, hurting myself, or see me yell at you just to release my negative emotions. I was suffering and grieving, yes, but so were my brothers. And they did their very best to take care of you while I did nothing. It was no excuse to ignore you and make you feel unwanted. I failed you as a father."

Lucifer moved his arms to hug Satan, crushing him in a loving embrace. Satan could only sob and wrap one arm around the older demon.

"How so many years of feeling unloved by me, your own father, has done to you...Even when you were angry at me, you had every right to. You only wanted my love, and I didn't give it to you then, so please, let me give it to you now. Let me give you the love you needed long ago. Let me make up for my mistakes. I promise never to leave you alone."

Lucifer pulled away and held Satan's face in his hands again, wiping away all of his tears. Satan sniffled and stopped whimpering and sobbing.

"You promise?"

Satan sounded like a little kid again, and Lucifer's heart melted. This was what he should've done long ago. Be there for him.

"I promise. I don't want you ever to feel unloved ever again."

* * *

Satan and Lucifer finally started to form a genuine father-son relationship. Although it was awkward at first, Satan was starting to talk to him. About his anger issues, to talk about their days, the cats he found on the Devildom Cat Blog, and the books he has been reading. As the night progressed, Satan eventually became comfortable enough to sit right next to his father as he read to him. And Lucifer would always look at his son with a soft smile.

He would constantly remember the many fights he'd have with Satan, both in their demon forms, screaming at each other. The words **"I HATE YOU"** and Satan's cries would always ring in his head. Then, as he returned to reality, he'd see his son resting his head on his shoulder, snoring softly.

The two of them stayed like that for hours, with Lucifer's arms protectively wrapped around Satan, the latter resting his head on his father's chest and Lucifer's chin on top of Satan's head until someone woke them up.

It won't be an easy journey for them to repair their relationship, they'll still have their fights, but he was glad that he managed to start over with Satan to become a father, rather than a brother.

At the very least, it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this at about 4 in the morning. I'll probably edit this soon.
> 
> Oh well, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Up next is the continuation of the first chapter!
> 
> Feedback is appreciated! ^^


	3. You'll Always be in my Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of chapter 1. The brothers, especially Lucifer, struggle to cope with the loss of Satan.

_**"I love you too, dad."** _

Those were the last words Satan said to Lucifer before disappearing into thin air. After that, everything went blank for Lucifer. He could only recall opening and closing his hands continuously as if Satan was still there. Still holding on to the hope that he's there.

But he felt nothing but the air.

He desperately tries to grab the air, hold on to it, believing that he might find something. Anything that remained of Satan that he could hold on to. Maybe grabbing on to it might bring him back. He frantically keeps grabbing, moving faster as time passes.

He couldn't hear his brothers' cries or feel hands shaking him, attempting to bring him back to reality.

Heavily breathing, unable to slow down. He couldn't bring himself to cry. Hands clenched tightly. He tries to stay strong. Suddenly, he found himself on the floor, unable to support his own weight.

Even after waking up and looking at his brothers' worried expressions, eyes red from crying, he couldn't bring himself to feel anything. He couldn't move. All he did that day was stare at the ceiling. His mind hasn't fully processed what exactly happened.

Satan was just there. Then he disappeared.

_He's gone. He's gone. He's gone._

No matter how many times he repeated that to himself, it never stuck. 

It never stuck to anyone. All of the brothers were heavily affected by the loss.

* * *

Belphie felt a bit lonely without his partner in crime. One who used to share the same amount of hatred towards Lucifer as he did. Even after resolving their issues with him and Lucifer getting therapy to deal with his issues, he still had someone to bond with over back then if Beel wasn't there.

He remembers countless nights of baby Satan screaming and wailing in the middle of the night. If none of his brothers felt like handling the living embodiment of wrath, then he would be there. He just wanted to go back to sleep without hearing the screaming and the crying. But, he was there. Using his magic, he would calm the baby demon and rock him to sleep, making sure that baby Satan was comfortable, nuzzled up against his shirt, cooing softly as he listened to Belphie's soothing voice lulling him to sleep.

The two of them were a dynamic duo. As the youngest brother smoothed out the blankets in Satan's room, he wished he could play one last prank with Satan or even soothe him to sleep in his arms again. A familiar wave of sadness washes over him.

It was Lilith all over again. The family had once again lost someone dear to them.

-

Beel noticed Belphie's behavior and wanted to scoop him up in his arms every chance he got. He wasn't as close with Satan as Belphie was, but Satan was also part of their family. He cared for him, despite his rough beginning and introduction to them.

Beel couldn't eat for a while. Not when he constantly remembered the times he would feed baby Satan, fighting to urge to eat the food himself. Satan would eat the food and giggle happily, reaching his arms out for more. But he would also throw a fit when he didn't like it or didn't get any food, picking up a spoon and throwing it across the room, then banged his chubby hands on the table.

At those moments, Beel would come up with creative ways to make eating the food fun and would even try to mix it up sometimes. He was patient, even when Satan was stubborn.

Beel didn't give up on him. And eventually, they both warmed up to each other, and Satan ended up making so much good food for him and the whole family. Beel wondered if he had any part in that.

Upon entering Satan's room, Beel found his twin adjusting the bed, walked up to him, and embraced him. 

They'll get through it, but it'll take time.

-

Asmo was a bit of a mess. Losing Satan still hurts, and he didn't take care of himself as much as he did.

As one of the more emotionally sensitive out of the brothers, Satan's sudden "death" had always brought him to tears. He spent most of his time in his room, crying into his pillows, not caring how ruined his makeup became or how his face looked. He just wanted to let it all out, but the tears don't stop coming.

Asmo didn't have a nice beginning with Satan either. None of them did. But he was one of the few people that Satan ended up growing fond of. Sure, he was aggressive, and he was really destructive. He'd destroy anything, and anyone near him would end up getting caught in the crossfire. Asmo would know. He has been caught in it a few times. Not as much as others, but still.

Satan was an upside and something positive they gained from the war. Even though Satan was constantly scratching, biting, kicking, or punching anyone that came near him, Asmo gathered him in his arms and treated him with great care, cooing at the young demon and snuggling him. Then Asmo would question if it was a good idea or not after looking at his messed-up hair and the scratches on his face.

Even so, every chance he got, Asmo would hug Satan and shower him with familial love and affection. Asmo believed that Satan, despite his anger, was a child that needed love. So he gave it to him since Lucifer didn't.

Why? Because he deserved it. 

And oh, how much Asmo wanted to do it again. His pillows certainly aren't Satan, but they'll do.

-

Levi wasn't as close to Satan, and he even was one of the reasons that Satan was pissed off. Everyone can do anything to piss him off, but Levi can't stop counting the number of times he unintentionally made the situation worse.

But both of them shared something: they both felt like outcasts. Both felt that they weren't worthy of their place in the family and even questioned it sometimes.

Sometimes, they'd talk about it as well. Satan would vent to him and Asmo, but it's much deeper between the two of them. Levi figured that's how they got along.

As Levi continued fiddling with his controller, too focused on his game, he starts to recall the nights he would read Satan bedtime stories if he felt like it. Sometimes, they would be fairytales from the human world or about an anime or manga series he's into. Levi wasn't really the type to take care of children, but he did what he could.

Back when Satan was younger, he was in awe over how Levi told his stories, and they filled him with wonder. While they always managed to put him to sleep, Satan developed a curiosity towards books and a thirst for knowledge because of it.

Interested or not, Satan listened. Satan was always curious about the various stories that existed and would even provide his own analysis and opinion. Levi and Satan would go on and on about their opinions on a book, some lasting all night. But it was fun, and Satan would always smile and thank Levi for the conversation.

Nostalgia washed over him, and he wished he could have these conversations with Satan again. He was a pain in the butt, but he was more than just the embodiment of anger.

Levi groans in defeat as another "GAME OVER" flashes on the screen, but then he looks to the side of his room. He sighs, then walks over to his bookshelf, picks a book up, walks over to his tub, and sits down. 

It wouldn't hurt to read for a bit.

-

Mammon didn't know if he was crying or not. He was too occupied with his thoughts to care.

He had been there for nearly all of Satan's life when Lucifer decided to leave him under everyone else's care. Mammon knew that Lucifer was grieving. But then again, so were they. Mammon figured that his older brother carries more pain and more burdens than they know. He just didn't know what exactly. Regardless, he decided that he'd do the best he could. Everyone else was in pain, and as the second eldest, he needs to be strong for Lucifer, their younger brothers, and the newest addition to the family.

He was there for Satan at his worst. The times he was throwing his worst temper tantrums, when he had locked himself up in a room, when he had destroyed nearly everything around him, screaming, yelling, and crying, when everyone else was afraid of coming near him, or when Lucifer was acting somewhat hostile or indifferent towards the boy. He didn't care that Satan constantly injured him when he came too close and stayed patient with him whenever he growled or spat out cruel words at him.

He had a lot of patience. He could endure it. He was willing to if it means the boy could feel safe and loved. He did his best to teach Satan how to control his anger, understand his emotions, and accept them. Mammon knew deep down that Satan was more than his wrath and tried to help him realize that.

_Even if he did somewhat become like Lucifer, he made an identity for himself._

Satan rebelling against Lucifer despite a few of their similarities and the circumstances of his birth was one of the biggest middle fingers he could give. Even though Satan and Lucifer shared their fondness for torturing Mammon now and agreed on how much of an idiot he is, Mammon was proud of him. He gained more control over his anger and became his own person. While he was indeed the Avatar of Wrath, he proved that he was more than that.

Mammon, like everyone else, had his rough beginnings with Satan. Especially when it came to taking care of him when he was angry, but he'd endure it all over and over again. Hell, he'd give anything to see Satan's smile.

Mammon muttered a curse under his breath as more tears began to spill.

He missed the little brat.

-

Lucifer felt lost. He has never felt so lost in his life. Yes, he felt lost when Lilith died, when they were banished from Heaven and became demons...but he had a reason to keep going. He had to be there for his brothers, who were still so young. He had to be there for the newborn demon, created from his wrath, somehow. He had a purpose then after apologizing to Satan. He vowed that he would be a better father to Satan for as long as they lived.

But now that Satan was gone, he felt like his purpose in life has disappeared. He planned on taking care of Satan for as long as he needed him.

Now what?

If he were mortal, Lucifer would certainly wait until it was time for him to join Satan. But unfortunately, he wasn't. And Satan disappeared. Where he disappeared, no one knows. And the thought continues to haunt him. Did he disappear to another world? Was he reborn in the human realm? Did he, somehow, end up in the Celestial Realm?

Is Satan completely gone? And if he's completely gone, are they going to forget about him?

"NO!"

Lucifer paused for a bit, horrified by the thought that they might forget Satan. He can't...Satan spent a lot of his life fearing he might disappear and become a part of Lucifer again, losing the identity he worked so hard to make for himself. Lucifer never really paid mind to it, but now that he thought about it...no wonder Satan tried so desperately to form his own identity. Why Satan sometimes feared him. Feared that they would once again become one being.

So then, why didn't Satan feel any remorse? He saw Satan look at his own body, disappearing into thin air. He should've been panicking, upset, angry, ANYTHING but happiness. His life was suddenly cut short at that moment. He knew that it was the end. So why did he hug Lucifer? Wasn't he afraid of disappearing?

Did Satan act that way for them? Was he actually happy? Or was he pretending? Putting on a mask, like he always does. Maybe, Lucifer thought, he was just trying to hide his pain. The poor boy must've been upset deep down but decided to leave the world with a smile. To leave a happy memory for his family.

Then Lucifer thought, had he known this would've happened, would he have stopped himself from saying anything? All he wanted was to get better at handling his anger, yet that came at a cost.

 _"So it was my fault...?"_ Lucifer thought. _"Everything he endured was all my fault. Maybe if things were the way they were before..."_

It pained Lucifer to think about who he and Satan were before he got help, always arguing and spitting in each other's faces. He wanted to avoid that. He wanted to build a stronger bond with Satan.

" _But if that led to him disappearing,_ _then maybe how we were before, it wouldn't be so bad. It's better than to lose him._ " Lucifer would give anything to see Satan again, to see him alive and well. He doesn't care if Satan still hated him, yelled at him constantly, sent him the meanest of looks, or played pranks on him out of spite.

He didn't care. He just wants his son back. It doesn't matter what happens afterward. He'll sacrifice anything, including his own life.

He wants to be in his office, stressed out over Satan's latest prank or his rebellious nature. Not in Satan's room, stressed out AND crying because Satan is no longer with them.

As Lucifer thought about all of this, he let a sound (he didn't know if he was sobbing or laughing) as a tear slipped down his cheek.

"Fuck. It hurts."

* * *

Simeon took note of the behavior of the brothers and understood immediately after learning what happened. He felt a swirl of emotions himself after the war. A war that took away his brothers and Lilith.

He never admitted this, but he felt extremely hurt after that. He knew he would feel the same way if he lost Luke, who was a son to him.

The least he could do was be there for the brothers, for they have suffered another loss.

One day at the House of Lamentation, Simeon approached the eldest brother.

Simeon spoke softly, "Lucifer?" The demon looked up to see Simeon's concerned face.

"Ah...Simeon..."

"I'm sorry for your...loss...Satan was a really great person despite his shortcomings."

Lucifer wanted to tell Simeon to leave him alone, to allow him to grieve in silence. But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He just stared at Satan's coffin, which was filled with Satan's most precious items. The scene was all too familiar.

He wished that he spent more time with Satan and feared that Satan passed on with many negative memories in mind. He wanted to truly show Satan how proud he was of him and how much he loved him. He wanted to spend time with him, make up for the years he spent ignoring him. He can't do that anymore. Worse of all, he feared that they might forget Satan, so he has been spending quite some time in Satan's room.

Lilith technically died as a human, and her memory has lived on over the years, but demons? Lucifer is afraid that the death of an immortal being causes memories of them to disappear along with their existence.

Oh, how much Lucifer missed Satan. And he kicked himself internally for not realizing that earlier. Now, he's going to disappear forever from their memories? Lucifer doesn't want them. The thought of him forgetting and how upset Satan might be has been killing him on the inside.

Simeon noticed how tense Lucifer has become and held his hand. Immediately, Lucifer snapped out of it and turned to Simeon.

"It's hard, I know. And you've barely had any time to tell him how much you truly cared for him."

Lucifer's eyes started to water, and he replied, "I wish I could tell him...how much I love him."

Simeon squeezed the demon's hand, "But you did, and I'm pretty sure Satan knows too. You might regret not spending enough time with him, but you spent as much time as you could. You apologized to him and did your best to make it up to him. Don't forget about those small moments you spent, because they meant a lot to him. Have you considered that those small moments and your apologies were all that he wanted? I'm pretty sure he's happy too, wherever he is because you made a genuine effort to patch things up between the two of you."

Lucifer nodded. He did do the best he could. Maybe it wasn't enough for him. But what if that was all Satan wanted? Still...

"What if I forget about him?"

Simeon turned Lucifer's body so that they were facing each other.

"You won't."

"But-"

"No, you won't forget about him. You don't want to, right?"

"No!"

"Then you won't. As long as you continue to remember him."

Lucifer looked down. "It hurts though...it hurts so much."

Simeon smiled, "I know. But that's expected. You're not expected to feel better or forget about this overnight. It'll take years to heal, and some of you are still hurt over Lilith's death. And you don't have to forget about Satan to move on. Just remember that you'll have your family to support you, to help you heal. They're all hurting, too, you know? You need to be there for each other, accept what happened, and move on together as a family. Be there for them. And as long as you remember him, he'll stay alive in your heart and your memories. Lilith's memory didn't die, neither will Satan's."

Simeon lifted Lucifer's head. "And don't worry if you still cry. It's okay to cry. Everyone will still have their bad days, even years after something bad happens. That just shows how much you miss him. If you need to cry, then cry. But please don't stay that way for too long."

Lucifer looked at Simeon for a while, then looked at Satan's coffin. It was right next to Lilith's. After a while, he ran over to Satan's coffin and threw his body against it, startling Simeon as well as everyone else that was there.

"Dammit, Satan...I wish you were still here! I wish I got to spend more time with you. I wish got to show you how much I truly loved you! I wanted so badly to make things up to you and give you the love you deserved! Why...why did you have to go so soon?!"

And Lucifer finally let himself cry. He cried and wept, hugging the coffin tightly, saying how much he misses Satan and how much he loved him. Everyone was shocked. The avatar of pride was crying and showing a more vulnerable side of him. They wondered if they should pull Lucifer off but decided to let Lucifer have his moment. All that everyone else could hear was the loud sobs of the firstborn echoing in the halls.

Immediately, all of the brothers went up to Lucifer and either hugged him or placed a hand on his shoulder or back. Telling him that they are there. Lucifer got off the coffin after letting out his emotions and wiped his eyes.

He placed one hand on the coffin and said, "Satan, I will not let you be forgotten. We will all remember you for as long as we live."

By birth order, the brothers place a hand on the coffin and left their last words to Satan.

"Yeah, we won't forget you. We'll always remember yer tantrums, love for cats and books, and how much of a smartass you were."

"I'll never forget our conversations, Satan. You were always OP!"

"We love you, Satan. We always have, dear!"

"I'll miss you, Satan, despite our rough beginnings. Thank you for everything. We'll be okay."

"I'll miss our pranks and our meetings. It was always fun to be with you. Rest easy."

Everyone else removed their hands from the coffin, and Lucifer left his final words before taking his hands off the coffin:

**"I love you, my son. You'll always be in my heart."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is! The aftermath! I hope you guys liked it!  
> I'm grateful for the comments and kudos left on this story and especially grateful to 10ReaderSan10 for giving me an idea of the ending for this.  
> I kind of struggled with the scene with Simeon, so I apologize if it's inaccurate or bad in any way. I might make a few edits to this.  
> The last bit of the story was inspired by a story I heard of a man who visited his son's grave every day.  
> I'll definitely be writing more in the future.
> 
> As always, feedback is appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> I know I have a long way to go when it comes to writing, so any feedback is appreciated!


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